If you're ever short of a character for your next award-winning novel, just head to a yoga class in the cool streets of Santa Monica, LA. The people watching is brilliant.
I'm no yogi, but I've loved yoga for years. My first taste was a small class in an attic with mum, during my final year of school. It was taught by Sally, who conveniently was also our wool classer.
Anyway...so I step inside today's LA class and head for the back of the room. I'm between a stoner surfer in his 60's who wears a beanie and later an orange headband, and a young meticulously chiselled dancer who wears aviator sunnies the entire time. In front, a middle-aged guy wearing Speedos...and nothing else, and sprinkled throughout the class are ex-Home and Away star lookalikes plus Ryan Kwanten, who actually is an ex-Home and Away star. There's also an Ethiopian model, a fiercely cut lesbian with a pink mohawk and a Charlotte from SATC-style mum. The instructor is totally gorgeous and so LA.
'Breathe in. Cook it. Exhale.'
'Just chill in your dog for three breaths.'
'Left arm over right and twist towards Malibu...swap and then to Venice.'
The Speedo guy constantly breaks into random headstands while we're meant to be in Child's Pose. The dancer has her left leg to the ceiling giving the stoner a heart attack.
And then you know at the end when you're meant to say OMMM together, and everyone is suddenly shy and awkward, not wanting to sing first?? Well, none of that. It was like an X Factor final.
So LA and so much fun. I'm coming back tomorrow.